Sex Addiction

Partners of Sex Addicts

If you are the partner of someone with a recently discovered history of compulsive sexual acting-out - or Sex Addiction - you are likely in shock with feelings of anger, hopelessness, self-doubt and disillusionment. Research shows that you are likely experiencing symptoms of post traumatic stress. “The partner of a sex addict has responses that serve as reactions to a stressor that is traumatic in nature, in predictable emotional, behavioral, and physiological ways. She seeks what she cannot find: safety in an unsafe situation.” (from the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists - APSATS).

What seems so difficult is to get help. “If I see a counselor aren’t I admitting that I’m part of his problem - that maybe in his eyes I’m the cause of his acting-out.” While it’s understandable why you might get to that place let me assure you that you are not the cause of his bad choices. You are, unfortunately, the victim of his bad choices.

If the two of you were driving together on a beautiful day and suddenly he veered of the road and ran into a tree, in all likelihood you would both be injured. He might have injuries from the steering wheel collapsing his chest while you might have broken arms from bracing yourself against the impact of the collision. Regardless, you’re both injured; he has one collection of injuries while you have another. He caused the accident, but you both need help. So it is with partners of sex addicts.

As an APSATS trained partner specialist I can help you get your feet back underneath you and your world once again right-side up. You deserve nothing less.