Recovery from any addiction is a herculean task – to think any differently would be a mistake. And recovery from sex addiction is one of the hardest. Why? Because we live in such a highly sexualized society. Daily we are bombarded by provocative images and sexual innuendo. Just think through a typical day and you’ll get the picture. It’s hard to block it out. And if at some point in life we buy into the allure of it, it can cost dearly.
Not a week goes by during which someone doesn’t call and share their experience about struggling with some sort of sexually compulsive behavior. Their frustration is clear. They feel seduced into longer and longer trance-like stints at the computer, viewing images that fly in the face of their own core values. Yet they persist. Others tell similar stories of compulsively acting- out with prostitutes, at strip clubs, massage parlors “with extras”, adult book stores, affairs, or a variety of sexually oriented risky, sometimes illegal, behaviors.
The cost can be huge – to individuals and to those close to them.
My primary area of clinical specialization is working with individuals who are struggling with these kinds of behaviors. When I started my private practice in 1998, becoming a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT) wasn’t part of my plan. But this particular addiction is becoming a problem of major proportions. More people are succumbing to compulsive, sexual, acting-out behaviors than ever, and this addictive tsunami is not slowing.
I can help. If you, or someone close to you, is ready to roll up their sleeves and tackle this head- on, I can walk along side and point out the path. It’s not an easy path, but navigating it can provide benefits for you and those close to you for the rest of your lives. One of those benefits – for those who are followers of Christ – is a skill set that not only assists in gaining freedom from addiction, but draws us closer to the author and creator of our faith.
If you’re not certain this is your problem, there are two things you can do.
First, read through “10 Symptoms of Sex Addiction” and do a self-assessment. If you find yourself agreeing with some of the symptoms, then it’s likely there is wisdom in seeking help.
The 10 Symptoms of Sex Addiction:
- Loss of Control. A pattern of not being able to resist impulses to engage in sexual behaviors. You may be aware of saying to yourself “I won’t… I won’t… I won’t” then suddenly finding yourself doing the very thing that you hate and wondering how you got there.
- Compulsiveness. Engaging in behaviors more often and more easily even when they are contrary to your values and must be kept undercover.
- Efforts to Stop that Fail. Repeated efforts and promises to stop don’t last. You find yourself ensnared again in old patterns of behavior and feeling more desperate and out-of-control with each failure. Even efforts to cut back are unsuccessful.
- Loss of Time. The time invested seems to continually increase. A few minutes stretches into hours. A weekend gets lost staring at the computer screen producing a porn hangover requiring even more time for recovery.
- Preoccupation. Sex addicts become so intent on escaping reality that they begin to see and make sexual connections through normal daily events and routines. Everything seems to trigger them to want to act out.
- Lack of Follow-Through. Sexually acting out can be so compelling that time meant for other interests, obligations and activities gets lost. Promises made are often broken, deadlines go unmet, bills are paid late, being late or a “no-show” becomes routine.
- Escalation. When the amount of time, level of risk, or variety of behaviors needs to be continually increasing to achieve the desired effect.
- Continuing Despite Consequences. When the negative consequences of acting out cease to be a deterrent there is cause for great concern. Loss of finances, job, relationships, self-respect, or physical issues such as contracting STD’s, are indications of our inability to learn from our past unhealthy choices.
- Isolation. Giving up or scaling back social, occupational, or recreational activities so that there is more time to indulge in sexual acting-out, or other numbing behaviors like video games, TV, movies, etc.
- Withdrawal. Significant levels of anxiety, restlessness, or irritability can manifest when there is no opportunity to act out.
Secondly, if, after reading through the 10 Symptoms, you’re still uncertain about your reality – here’s another resource to access: www.recoveryzone.com. Take the free and anonymous Sexual Addiction Screening Test (SAST). It generally takes less than 15 minutes. The tool has been used by thousands, is statistically sound, and will provide a different way of seeing your reality. Just be truthful and don’t hedge your answers.
Now we get to the bottom line. If you’ve concluded that you have a problem AND want to get good help, contact me. We can set up a 90-minute intake session and determine a course of action that is right for you. If you have questions about fees and time availability, click here, or go to “Rates and Policies” in the menu bar.
I look forward to running this race with patience and perseverance alongside you.
I came to Chuck after hitting rock bottom in my life. I was suffering the embarrassment and humiliation of having my sexual addiction exposed and was on the verge of divorce. I sought out a Christian counselor who was also experienced in recovery of sexual addiction.I found that in Chuck. He listened carefully to my situation and started a process of uncovering my underlying issues. It was clear that Chuck’s goal for me was to achieve complete recovery and restoration, not just manage my behaviors. He uses sound biblical principles while applying the latest addiction recovery research and techniques. It has been a lot of hard work, but the journey has resulted in freedom from addiction, the restoration of my marriage and other relationships, and a more meaningful relationship with Christ. I highly recommend Chuck to anyone who is dealing with the devastating effects of sexual addiction. –BS